Stream of Consciousness...

Embodying Meghan...

I write this from our shared Meghilles workshop inside a garagebackyardadu, inspired after morning bodywork sessions with a couple of gifted practitioners, in our old pearl hood, body connectivity paired with deeply intentional vaping of some gifted weed from uncle Jerry, while recently visiting with my mother on a much need reconnect where I poured my honest heart out and felt seen, heard and validated. This was a gift, this day is a gift and this writing is a gift.

To Me & We 

Born in 1984's year of the rat, 3 cycles of 12 years later, this 2020 year of the rat has taught me some things about my health. Pushed me to get real. To get healed. To make the commitments to self that feel most uncomfortable. Look discomfort in the face, and ask it about its day. Seek to discover... the stories my body holds onto...what happens to my life-force both spiritually and physiologically when I am denying my truth...what happens to my mind when I am holding too much fear...where my relationships go when I am over-capacity...how to honor work, rest, and play...where is it safe to shine my light...why I feel unsafe shining my light...when my inner child got wounded...how to heal the mother wound...

Something shifted with the Solstice. My "partner" and I broke open...and again, with the first 2021 full moon in Leo, breaking up with the psychology of our expectations. Releasing the outdated patterns that have shackled our subconscious' for centuries. Letting go of the martyrdom of the age of Pisces in trade for the humane innovation of Aquarius. 

We are all in this transition together, everyone exactly where they need to be, in this divine dimension of humanity. As these mind melting days of 2020 unfold, somedays I want to shout from the rooftops, "I knew it" "I felt it!!!" all along these truths that seem to find their way to the top are things I sensed as a child...I looked for answers, but they are just now being revealed, simultaneously as I experience the lessons deeply in my own personal relational life of this time space continuum of trickery over the senses ...the continuum of me

ITs time to take positive action. Its time to clear out all the bullshit so we may become clear channels of the light intended to pour through our souls while we traverse this heavenly planet, waking up from the illusion of separation, to the magic that connects us...may we be finally able to understand our spirit with our intellect, so that our collective programming may upgrade us on the cellular level to the highest vibration of Love.

I promise... 

to self, to health, to all those that need to hear the words I have to say, see the art I have to make, feel the energy I have to care, learn the wisdom I have to share, resonate with the vibration of my eternal self...

to do what it takes to be a clear vessel for life-force to travel through me

to always rise to the occasion for the highest good of all

I promise to use my talents for the benefit of others.

============================================

I have so much to share...but have always had too restrictive of a filter...barely letting anything out, over analyzing and reanalyzing how it might land or the associated consequences, or if some minor detail was incorrect. I was literally choking myself out for fear of how others might think. Now, I understand how that makes me sick, how that has metaphysically impacted my body and my general life-force in physiological and scientific terms referenced as iron deficient anemia. My ND said he's never seen a ferritin store result in the negative like mine, my body was in-debt of life-force. 

It takes time for iron to leak out of the body, combo a lifetime of refusing to share myself with heavy periods and a core wound that wouldn't allow me to be myself.

I started quarantine2020 with sparkly feelings about sharing all the simple and uplifting ways we can make an impact on health, mood, and routine by inviting ritual into our daily life... I was silenced by a necessary movement much bigger than mine and had my own underworld journey of discovering what outdated acts of violence was I committing on myself. It all starts with the self. The light reveals the shadow, and the shadow helps us appreciate the light. 

My journey of healing has taken huge leaps in the last year, and I sense I am not alone...

by no means is the work done, I continue daily, but I am no longer afraid to share the lessons of the shadow alongside the light work, whether it's the artofmeghan or careofmeghan, its all, ultimately from the source that embodies many, including this body, named Meghan Howell.

The rest is just how I decide to package it. Meld it into one continuous conscious offering of Meghan.